November 29, 2012

As Dumb as a Shovel

There was a time when mankind was capable of great things.
Columbus sailed the ocean blue and discovered new lands, Einstein had his theory of relativity and Bill Gates made the computer. But alas I fear that the time of mankind being at the top of the proverbial mental food chain have come to an end.

In days of yore we had Shakespeare's Hamlet saying those famous words -

"To be or not to be that is the question. 
Whether 'tis Nobler in the mind to suffer 
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune, 
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles etc etc.....

Thanks to a regular diet of TV shows like " Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" you can hear gems like:

 "Please, women that are of voluptuous size, put some clothes on ... All that vajiggle jaggle is not beauteous." 

Huh? Why do I feel like I suddenly forgot how to tie my shoes??

We are in an age where we are experiencing an extreme atrophy of our brains.

 I think the time is right for me to take my place in the medical journals and be the first person to donate their living brain.

How can I survive without a brain you ask? It's not that difficult. For starters I'm a man and as any woman will tell you we have small walnut sized brains to start with - and we think with our genitals so we can afford to give up our brain.

How often am I going to be doing complex algebraic equations anyways? That's just it I'm not!  Another reason not to have a brain. With all the mind numbing drivel that populates the TV and the Inter web I can't see that anyone  will need their brain anymore.

 Yup - Yes Siree I'm gonna donate my brain to science and be as dumb as a shovel. Maybe when I'm as dumb as a shovel I will be able to understand the appeal of Jersey Shore....

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TotalChaos said...

I'll agree with you wholeheartedly!