September 21, 2013

A hooker, A bag of chips and $5





I was sitting parked in my car in a seedier part of town, the sun was going down and societies undesirables were emerging from their crack dens to prowl the streets. Say what you like about society's undesirables but they certainly have an entrepreneurial streak.  Sitting in my car I was offered some crack,meth, molly and a "date" with a toothless lady (?) called Sharon.

I politely declined any and all offers -
"No thank you sir I will not partake of your fine crack cocaine "
"Sorry Sharon I will respectfully decline your offer of a good time"

When I had a moment I sent a text to my wife telling her where I was. To my surprise she replied in a positive manner.

"There you are surrounded by $50 hookers and you with only $5 in your wallet" my wife said

I opened my wallet and my heart dropped when I saw the lone $5 bill in my wallet. She was right.

"This should be fun" my wife continued on " See what fun you can have for $5"

I could hear her laughing as I hung up the phone.

Here was my opportunity  to have a wild and crazy encounter. An encounter that has been endorsed by my wife. An encounter  that I could relive for years through conversation at the work place water cooler.

I talked to the local crack dealer,  and even though crack is a drug for the budget conscience junkie - he would not sell me his wares.

Sharon, even being toothless and having a blackeye "still had standards"

This was not looking good - would I have to tell my wife that she was right and I could not have fun in this den of decadence with $5???

Suddenly inspiration struck me.  I had my eureka moment. I knew how I could have fun for only $5

I slouched down in the front seat and  masturbated - then I went into the corner store and got a bag of chips and a Pepsi.

I can't wait to tell her that I won our bet.....








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